"the DNA Test concludes that he is Not The Father, but...."

The story of Jesus' birth introduces an oft forgotten character, named Joseph. In a nutshell, Joseph was willing to marry a pregnant woman carrying a baby that wasn't his. He was willing to raise a son that didn't have his genes or DNA. He was even willing to put his sexual desires on hold to not interfere with his wife's purpose and God's plan

#RelationshipGoals
The Right Relationships should not prevent you from achieving your Purpose. The Right Relationships should ensure that your Purpose is protected as well as pursued.

#RaiseThemAsYourOwn
- In some cases the child you are raising may not be biologically yours, just know that you have been chosen, just as Joseph was, to be their natural or spiritual guardian. Raise them as your own and watch them change their world

•  

It is Lonely At the Top

For most of her life Amy Q wanted to climb a mountain and as soon as she turned 19 she decided that this was the time. After sharing this dream with a few of her friends, they all eagerly joined in and decided to accompany. After about 6 months of planning along with some “conditioning” the day came for the BIG CLIMB.

Amy started out with this sense of vigor and intentionality, while some of those that she was with was a bit more laid-back and quite “chatty”. During this moderate-to-intense climb there were some things that the group discovered quickly. #1 The higher they climbed, the thinner the atmosphere. #2 The higher they climbed, the less talkative people were.

About 2 hours in to the climb, two from the group decided that they would turn back, Four hours in, a few more did the same, and about 8 hours in to the climb Amy looked back and realized that she was the only left, yet still trudged on. Finally, upon reaching the mountain peak she had this conflicting set of emotions. The feeling of accomplishment was indeed there, yet the loneliness haunted her as well. After a few moments of yelling at the top of her longs, she took a selfie and then descended back down the mountain and as she reached the starting place was greeted with “congrats” and “applause”.

Here are some truths that you need to consider in your life.

1. Elevation requires Separation
2. It is Lonely at the Top
3. As you climb you will notice that the air density is less. To succeed you have to change your breathing patterns. Translation: You can’t inhale the same stuff; the same conversations, the same things on television, the same unproductive habits. You have to better conserve the limited oxygen/time that you have.
4. Just because others applaud your vision, doesn’t mean that will participate in your climb

"The Arrow" Vs "The Bridge"

An [Arrow Sign] and a [Bridge] get in to a heated conversation about who is most important

The [Arrow Sign] boasts about how he is always giving directions, about how he is multilingual and understood and utilized by billions of people across the global community.  He says “without me, people will never know where to go.”

The [Bridge] replies and says.  “Yes it is true that you are a recognized symbol providing great advice, and that there are so many more of you than they are of me, however I think what makes me most different is that instead of pointing people where to go, I provide them with the structure to get there.

Friends, the world already has enough [Arrow Signs] in the form of pundits, preachers and people w/ opinions.  What we really need today…. are more bridges.

*Be A Bridge, Not Just an Arrow*

JIMTY

Have you ever heard stories about someone who rises from seeming obscurity and as an opportunity is presented they make the most of it and all of a sudden a star is realized.

At times these stories, especially of people I knew, had caused me to think :
- what if "stardom" is only available to a few
- why am I forgotten
- how did things happen to them just out of nowhere

and This is the revelation I arrived at:

As for them THEY were always a star, it's just that the world never noticed. All this time they were already shining, not dimmed by failure, not extinguished by the lack of opportunity.... but simply covered by the cloak of JIMTY (Just Isn't My Time Yet)

As for us, let this be an encouragement to put in the work and Be a Star even when the world doesn't notice you, even when you fail, get buffeted and you feel like nothing is happening. Shine under the cloak of life and consider that perhaps it just..... isn't..... your..... time.... YET

I Got Scars Too

Every morning as I about to jump in the shower it seems to happen by instinct...... My left index finger gently glides across this small scar that happens to be on my chest. Then Instantly, my mouth forms a soft smile and lets out a gentle “Hmm”

I got this scar about 6 years ago. It was a small wound that I kept picking at and never allowed it to properly heal. My name is Heston and I am a scab-picker. This small wound ended up getting worse and ever increasingly painful until I finally stopped messing with it and gave it time to heal. Now Heal it did, yet the result wasn't what I wanted. It wasn’t invisible. It wasn’t smooth… in fact it was ugly. It use to bug me to the point where I even went to a doctor and asked "can you fix this?" however the answer was "sorry we can't., the scar is simply just how the wound decided to heal"

We all have scars. We all have imperfect past’s filled with hurts, disappointments and disasters. We all have been wounded by people or situations and perhaps have picked it at, tried to fix it or gotten in the way of Mr. Time and Mrs. Patience who exist to help bring about the healing process.

Q. So Why then do I smile at this Scar?
A. I smile because it is no longer a wound. You see wounds are still sensitive, they often become re-infected and are still painful when touched. It is no wonder why some of us still hurt every time we see that photo, hear that name, think back to that day or remember that moment because we are still living in a "wounded" state…..
But let me tell you about Scars: They certainly aren’t pretty. In fact other’s still may see them and point or wonder. Yet for the scar-bearer it is a reminder that can bring a smile across our faces, as we can reflect, not on the pain once felt, but on how God, patience and time brought us through.

Here is your homework:
-Smile at Your Scars
-Stop Picking at Your Wounds

Web Lessons

It was the middle of a chilly evening and I had armed myself with a box of bulbs.  I grabbed the 6' ladder from the shed and brought it to the front of the house. I then maneuvered through the foliage and finally found a place that was secure enough to open and place the ladder. With each step I instantly felt 6 inches taller than previously and even wondered what it would be like to be over 6' 6" tall. "I was on top of the .........w" By the time I got to the 4th ring the most horrible thing happened .... without any notice my face encountered the unforgettable...., yep... you guessed it, a "spider web". OMG..... The horror!!!!

This harmless practically invisible thread caused me to instantly leap of the ladder, drop the bulbs and frantically rub my face while shaking my head vigorously 15 degrees each way for the next 45 seconds , trying to rid myself of both the feeling and the web itself. Even days later I still feel the tinglies and the memory alone causes me to shudder.

For many of us it doesn't take a huge obstacle to get us off-track, to get us away from our direction of moving forward or upward. I have found that is often the little things that we fail to notice or to take heed to that can cause the most damage and delays. So how would I handle this "bulb changing" task differently
#1 I won't try to change bulbs at night
#2 I will keep my eyes focused on where I am going and out of the "fantasy" arena
#3 I won't just look out for the big things that may trip me up but I will pay just as close attention to the little things
#4 I will ask my kids to climb the ladder first (j/k , however I would use something, even a broom to clear the way first)

Hmm, I wonder what life lesson you can garner from my web experience

#aroundthehouseLifelesson

The Busy Signal

So I'm chatting on the phone strategizing with this dude called Present and suddenly I get a call from a Past buddy of mine. I switched over... and after a slight period of awkward silence we started chatting and reminiscing about "back in the days".

A couple of minutes in, I was like oh gosh, I still got Present on the other line and thought to myself how cool would it be if we all connected together. So I switched it to a three-way conference call.

Now we were all on the phone for hours and finally the Past buddy of mine said "I gotta run, but let's talk tomorrow" I said "cool" and he hung up. Present was still on the line and was telling me how much fun he had laughing about all the goof-ups and mistakes mentioned by Past. As we were about to say goodbye Present asked me this question... "whatever happened with your other friend that was supposed to call?.....what's his name again.... was it [Future]?....... I let out a puff right before i kissed my teeth and responded ...
"That's funny he never even called... that's messed up..."

E.M [EPIPHANY MOMENT]
When you constantly introduce your PAST to your PRESENT your FUTURE will always get a busy signal

Write your own Obituary

This year Nomor decided to commemorate his birthday a bit differently  than normal. He had just reached a quarter of a century and was somewhat enthralled at this new phase in his life. After first stretching and then checking the many posts on his social media page he slipped downstairs, as to not wake his parents, and opened the front door to grab the paper that was on the front steps. Before stepping inside he hurriedly loosed the rubber-band and thumbed through the pages arriving at his favorite section... [The Obituaries] . You may find it odd, but ever since he was a kid this was the section of the paper that he most enjoyed reading. He even kept a scrapbook of his favorite posts.

Today was different, today he decided that after being on earth for this many years he was going to write his own Obit. As morbid as that sounds it was an action that "changed his Life"... or perhaps you could even say "changed his death" forever.
Armed with a pad and paper he began to write and started out as most Obits do.
"Nomore Regrets age 26, died at home in Hollis, NY, on Sunday, January 4th, 2016. The cause was unknown.
Born January 4th, 1990, in Farfield CT, where he lived for 16 years, before settling in Queens. He ..... ............. He..... ....He ......<ummmmm>

Suddenly, Nomore found himself stuck, at times not knowing what he could write at other times writing something and then quickly erasing as he thought to himself; Hmmm, I don't want to be remembered for that. He toiled all day, trying to find something worthwhile, something honorable, something admirable that he could write but just found recounted moments of failure, moments of little substance. His day ended with him feeling burdened and quite depressed, and after he finally got to sleep he had a dream that changed everything.

The following day he got up early. He first stretched then quickly kneeled at his bedside and prayed earnestly more than he has ever done before. He got that same pad that caused him so much angst the day before and before you know it, he had a sparkling obituary that could be compared even to the likes of Mother Teresa & Gandhi.

For the next 364 days he lived life with a spring in his step, with a twinkle in his eye. He launched a community center in the matter of weeks. He shoveled his entire block during the winter. He volunteered at a soup kitchen. He told the corniest jokes yet at the most necessary times resulting in a melody of laughter.

Then on Jan 4th, 2016, now at the age of 26, Nomor passed in his sleep while on his favorite chair, clutching that notebook, now filled with the chronicles of his last year. As the paramedics removed the notebook from his hand they noticed that his right thumb was bookmarked on a page with a bunch of checkmarks. At closer glance this page was actually the obituary he wrote a year before filled with sentences that started with the prefix "He was.... " then followed by phrases such as "...generous to his family", "...known for praying for those who hated him", "....a man of his word", "..known to create laughter"....
and on and on and on.

Next to every single one of these sentences was a [Checkmark] and the closing statement was as such

"He will certainly be missed, however even in death his legacy will still live, so live life with...... No-Mor Regrets"

Now I don't know where you are on this journey called life. Perhaps you too have wondered what would your obituary say.

I do want you to Know this!!!

You may not be able to write your life's [start] and [end] times .... but you can certainly write and live your own obituary.

I pray that you too have a dream and a vision not just for your life but also for your legacy and that when your number is called and we open up your pad that it will be filled with check-marks too.

Keep Calm & Take a Nap

There was a moment recently that I reflected back to the days when I used to work for a prestigious international law firm in NYC.  I was a Network Administrator who worked evenings and would you believe that every night, for almost 2 years I was chauffeured home in a black town car.  Yes, I was spoiled and loving it.

I can recall the first few nights of this door-2-door service, I wouldn't really say much on that 45 minute drive home.  I was usually exhausted but forced myself to be alert, making sure that the driver knew their way and drove in a "sane" way.  Now after I was familiar with the various drivers it changed.  I used to chat-them-up and many times just sunk back in to the soft leather, closed my eyes and got a good 30 minutes+ of peaceful rest.  There were a couple of times where the weather was downright horrendous.  The wind was howling as snow covered the streets and pelted the car window.  The journey home was not only treacherous but took even longer and I can recall the rhythmic motion of the windshield wipers which created the melody of a childhood lullaby.  Do you know what I did during those times?
[I slept just the same as always].

You must understand that.....

Familiarity creates [Trust]....

[Trust] creates a sense of calm amidst crisis

It makes me think about this amazing story told in Mark 4:35-41.  In these verses we read about where Jesus and His disciples are in a boat where suddenly a storm begins to rage.  Thunder rolls, lightning flashes, the waves roar and the ship is tossed back and forth all while Jesus is soundly asleep at the back of the boat.  The disciples, gripped with fear, vigorously awaken Jesus and asks Him the following question "Don't You Care That We are about to Die?".  Ouch, what a question to ask their Teacher.

Now the disciples were familiar with Jesus, they trusted Him to teach and lead them, yet when things got difficult they essentially told GOD ... "Don't You Care About What I'm Going Through" 

Take a moment to ask yourself these following questions:

• Do I spend regular time with God?
• Has that Familiarity manifested itself as Trust?
• Has that Trust been Tested?
• Do I Trust God enough to sleep amidst the Storm?

Now Jesus' responded and spoke to and calmed the storm.  He then rebuked the disciples and said "O ye of little faith".

God has provided his Holy Spirit to help us Keep Calm during our moments of; crisis, awkwardness and anxiety.  When we don't sit back and nap, it demonstrates either our lack of familiarity or lack of Trust.

God won't just sit back idly and let you die. He has got your situation, He has got your storm well under His control:

<Say this Prayer>
Dear God,

Help me to know You, and your will for my life.
Help me to trust You, amidst storms and strife
I want to be able, to rest in your arms
Even when life around me is opposite than calm 

AMEN

Life is like a pan of cookies

So recently I found myself reflecting about a recent weekend where my oldest daughter happened to be in the mood for baking.  She, like most of our family, has a sweet tooth so chocolate chip cookies on a Saturday afternoon seemed like the perfect choice.

She grabs a premixed cookie container from the fridge and starts the process of rolling the dough.  She gets progressively better at making these almost perfect balls and places them in a cookie tray. With the help of her Nana she was able to follow the appropriate steps for what we would expect would be "perfect" cookies:
- The oven is preheated and set to the right temperature
- The cookies are spaced somewhat evenly apart and placed in the oven
- The fragrance was wafting through the home as we all were waiting in anticipation
- It was checked often so once the edges become slightly brown the cookies are removed

As they cooled something odd stood out about this batch. The tops seemed fine, but the bottom of the cookies were literally burnt to a crisp to the point where the entire batch had to be tossed.   The perfect/burnt mixed was somewhat baffling as we wondered how could we have this contradictory duality. Think about, they went through the right process but we ended up with the wrong result.

After exploring and asking a key question it was realized that the cookies were placed on the wrong rack. Instead of being in the middle they were placed close to the bottom.

Isn't that how life is sometimes:
You go through a situation that has heat-like characteristics
You even give off the right fragrance, yet when you come out of it, the result is still somewhat disappointing.

Food for Thought:
Right Process, Wrong Position, Poor Result

Let's consider your life.  Certainly you already have and will continue to deal with adversity but what is your position during these times?
Do you sulk, regress or despair to the bottom of the oven ...OR do you have the resolve to remain stable, positioned properly in the middle of the Heat until your edges are brown.

My Prayer for You Today

May God grant you the courage and the right attitude to be perfectly positioned and stable, in spite of the _______ (<- you fill in the blank)

Now let's go and make some perfect cookies

#iwillnotbeburned #bringontheheat #rightpositionrightresult

Don't Crack the Door

In practically every horror movie I can recall watching there is always a scene that is a similar to this.......... The faint chimes of a church, just a little over a mile away, has just finished it’s 10 note serenade on this warm and serene Friday night. It is a quiet suburban block, and 17 year old Mary happens to be home alone. You see her parents finally took a much-needed weekend away and had left just a few hours ago. On the table they left a simple but charming note

“Hey Sweetie,
Dad and I have gone to Lake Arthur for the weekend.
There is food in the fridge and some money in the jar.
Love ya….

BTW… In case you are wondering “No Visitors”

The note is still on the table and Mary is curled up on the living room couch, somewhat watching television while gabbing with her best friend Gina. The conversation is filled with giggles and outbursts of "No she didn't" as they are talking about what teenage girls normally talk about; boys, makeup and school.  Suddenly the doorbell rings. Mary’s eyebrows instantly raises with an apparent look of apprehension, while her mind is wondering who in the world could that be. After a brief two seconds of silence, you hear the playful voice of Gina say, “hmm,….. is that Robbbiiiiieee?". Mary, somewhat hopeful that it was, responds sheepishly and says, "No way, you know I can't have company over"

With the phone still pressed to her ear she gets up from the chair, clad in just socks, boy shorts and a tee, and walks over to the front door, ignoring the gnawing pulsating feeling inside. As she is almost at the 7ft wooden oak door, Mary pauses ….one can literally hear her heart beat pounding inside of her chest. She clears her throat and feebly yells "Who is it?". NO Response. At this time Gina's heightened voice over the phone says "maybe you should just ignore it". Mary whispers back "I'm just going to see who it is" and places her left palm on the door and moves her face towards the peephole.

 Now Those of us in the movie theater, watching this on the "Big screen" and having the advantage of multiple camera angles accompanied with dramatic background music, have already begun to throw up our hands in disgust and hurl out labels such as: “you are such an idiot" or "stupid girl” … Those who are bit more hopeful and engaged as if this is actually happening in real-time will share ignored-advice such as "be careful" or "Don't open that door".  Alas all these comments go unnoticed.

Her left eye, now glued to the peephole looks out and after doing an in-depth periscope-like scan whispers out loud. “I don’t see anyone”.  Seemingly drawn however, her right hand reaches to the latch and begins to turn it counter-clockwise.

By this time the captive audience is at the edge of their seats,
knowing what’s coming but helpless to change the result.

Mary’s breathing is pulsating, the click of the lock seems to shatter the previous silence in the home and she cracks the door open just enough to peer out. Not seeing any one she pokes her head out the door and after doing a panoramic scan comes to the conclusion that it was either a prank or something wrong with the bell. She turns to walk in and out of nowhere……… ……….. she feels something brush against her legs. Startled she drops the phone and let's out a piercing shriek.  You can hear the muffled sound of Gina, now hysterical, screaming "Mary, what happened? what happened?" The camera angle slowly pans down and you hear a gentle purr from the family cat, Giggles. Mary bends down, grabs her phone and while picking him up takes a deep breath (along with the viewing audience) softly reprimanding him. “Giggles, you almost gave me an heart attack. Don’t do that again”. Gently cuddling him she takes a step towards the door. The camera zooms in on the Cat’s eyes and there appears to be a silhouette of a dark shadowy figure. Mary has this weird feeling and quickly spins around where she is greeted by the sharp darkness of ........ a quiet block.  She breathes yet another sigh of relief and finally steps inside, then gently presses her palm against the edge of door behind her.  Inches away from hearing the “thud” of what would feel like safety, the door let's out a different thud and moments later is flung back with such force that Mary is thrown back, knocking her head on the wall before slumping to the ground…… . With her eyes fading she catches a final out-of-focus glimpse of the muddy size 12 boots of her assailant and mumbles to herself. “I should have never cracked that door"

LESSONS/TAKEAWAYS:

We put ourselves at risk to be overtaken and overwhelmed when we ignore instructions and the voice of “felt" danger just to allow our curiosity to crack the doorway of our hearts our minds and of our souls.

It take's much more effort to close that which you have opened compared to securing that which is already shut

In movies the characters don’t have the advantage of multiple-camera shots or background mood music. In life however, these advantages are provided as we become more sensitive to our conscience and aligned with God’s guiding Spirit.

Just because someone or something rings or knocks at your life's door doesn't mean you actually have to let them in.  In fact there are often times you need to add a deadbolt to prevent dead-weight or deadly gaining entrance to your present or your future.

Curiosity doesn't just kill cats, it can kill purpose too.

I encourage you to think about any areas in your life that you may be overly curious and/or opening up yourself for danger.  Ask God to help you overcome these areas and give you insight to see the danger... even before it, him or her knocks.

Tending Your Lawn

My family and I returned recently from a short trip and upon pulling up to our home I noticed something a little off about our lawn.  On one hand there were parts of it that looked fairly robust and plush, yet there was a small section whose color had faded and was almost like that of straw.  This small patch, seemingly insignificant, affected the beauty of the entire lawn.

We live in Farmingdale on a corner property, which sounds nice but I learned shortly after moving in that this requires a lot of work.  In the winter this means that there is a lot more snow to shovel and in the spring/summer there is much more lawn to care for.  Now we have a sprinkler system, which is programmed to go off each night sequentially for the 7 different zones.  Some point last year we became aware that there were a couple of zones where the water was leaking. I leaped in to action and proceeded to turn those zones off, stopping the leak. I pounded my chest with bravado as I felt like the Hero who saved the day.  However, even though turning off the zones stopped the leaking, it did not remedy the problem.  Without the daily watering, these areas were now more susceptible to damage. I now had to remember to regularly use a hose to water it, yet often times I either forgot, got lazy or in this case I simply wasn’t around, resulting in a damaged lawn.

Do you ever forget to water the dry areas in your life?

I am certain that at times you have found that Life or situations have been overly brutal.  It is has scorched your heart, your joy or your once happy-home.  Responsibilities as a parent, a manager, student, friend, spouse or employee can distract you resulting in these other critical areas of your life becoming discolored, thirsting for a trickle. We oft find ourselves overwhelmed, disconnected or fatigued... displaying heatstroke-like symptoms. The reality is that we usually can not control the heat of our situations, but I do believe we can control how we respond and water it.

If you are like most, you will go weeks, months and years not watering these areas; in our homes, in our relationships and in our faith.  We ignore the Zones where there is a broken sprinkler while we focus on things like career, children or satisfying self.

Ignoring problems only creates other and often Bigger problems

....So there I stood, suitcases still in my hand, looking at the dry area in the lawn I was faced with a few choices.  I could:
(A) do nothing/ignore it and only look at the areas that are plush
(B) Give up on the entire lawn
(C) hope, wish and.or pray for that section to return to its former state or
(D) take the initiative, water it while praying for restoration

I took a deep breath and began to think.  The conclusion that I came up with was that I didn't want a partially-healthy lawn, because partially-healthy is just a nice way of saying unhealthy.  Therefore I made the scary choice of option D. Now would you believe that in just a few days, with a little patience and diligence that same seemingly good-for-nothing patch was sporting a healthy coat of green.  It is no mistake that God has provided this example in nature just as a reminder to us today for our personal benefit

God has designed us to be much more resilient than grass and even when recovery seems impossible remember what is written in Luke 18:27 (The things that are impossible with people, are possible with God).  It certainly may take more time than a few days but just know that a little watering can:
* reinvigorate that dried up marriage
* restore that broken heart
* revive that gasping dream

As a person intent on Living on Purpose, I encourage you to do an inspection of your life’s-lawn.  There are likely some areas in your life or relationships that you have been ignoring for way too long.  You have turned off the zone(s) instead of fixing the leak and therefore watering your purpose.  I believe that there is still life left in those roots and pray that you will have the patience, desire and tenderness to partner with God and tend to these ignored, dried-up and seemingly hopeless patches in your life.