Brick Your Past, Not Your Future

I recall when one of our kids went to the laundry room in the basement of our home and inadvertently got themselves locked in. I guarantee that was never the original intent, in fact I am fairly certain that it happened in a desire to be hidden and in an effort to keep others out. Eventually we did have to break through the door in order to free him from his place of self-captivity.

Even as adults we often participate in the building up of the very doors, structures or walls that actually delay/deter our own progression. These walls are often built because of past hurt or disappointments, however they don’t just keep people out… they actually also keep us locked in

BUT WHY DO WE DO THIS?

Because past pain can keep us comfortable in the cocoon of the seeming-safety, and the "familiar" even sometimes hurtful can seem less scary than the unknown

WHAT CAN ONE DO

Trust not in what the Eyes can see but what Faith can. The “familiar” never gets you free and never gets you further than where you have been. So if it ain't been working it is time to get to demolishing.

The truth is that Walls are absolutely necessary, but in the wrong position… they can prevent you from finding the right path

#BrickYourPastNotYourFuture

One Man's Trash.. is another Man's Treasure

Have you ever seen something in the trash-pile that caught your eye and wondered "why in the world would someone toss out something like that?"

The Answer Most Often is this

"Because the person who tossed it, no longer assigns a value to it"

There are some valuable things and people that undoubtedly feel discarded and left by the curbside of their careers, broken relationships or previous friendships.; however the following statement rings true "One mans trash is another mans treasure" and I have seen many a discarded thing/person picked up by gentler hands.

Perhaps that friendship, relationship or job that you have just lost has less to do with what you lack, but is really the handiwork of God; displacing you from a place of familiarity(and used as trash) and transferring you to a place of unfamiliarity(and seen as treasure)

Benedictory Thought

It is better to be valued on the sidewalk, than to be disregarded in the palace

DEADlocks

Today’s post is inspired by a reading of 2 Samuel 18-19:10.

In the text King David sends out his army to defend against his own son who is seeking his life and his throne. Amidst the battle, Absalom finds that his army being defeated and now looks to escape. While galloping through the forest, his hair, which was extremely long and something he was extremely prideful of, got tangled in the branches of an oak tree and had him suspended in the air.

Figuratively, Absalom was hanging by his Pride and was unable or unwilling to get free. The text does not tell us for sure what his options of escape was, but I find myself curious as to why he remained tangled. Those in battle would normally carry a sword and often a dagger so then why didn't he just cut off his hair and get free?

As a result of his pride we see that Absalom not only got himself entangled, but his lack of resourcefulness or refusal to trim his hair got himself killed.

He hung by his locks for his Pride and it got him killed.

In Proverbs 16:18 ESV it reminds us that

Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.

If any one of us becomes so full of; ourselves, our wants, our looks or our plans then this prideful spirit can place us in situations that are treacherous.

Are we holding on to something that has us spiritually hanging out to die?

Heavenly Father, help us to examine ourselves, and in the areas where Pride has dominion and causes us to look at self rather than look Above.... we ask for your supernatural pride-breaking power to break every chain that seeks to keep us bound. Give us the courage to turn over those things that causes us to get tangled in this world and enable us to lay aside every weight that so easily besets us. Amen.

Closer than you think

Nowadays in many of the train stations there are signs that tell us How long until the train arrives.

Don't you wish that your prayer requests; for a job, a spouse, a victory, a healing, an acceptance letter or a breakthrough had these types of notifications?

Even though God will usually not reveal the exact dates as He is teaching us patience & faith, He has taught us to be aware of the signs. Every once in a while when I find myself in the subway system, I do the following. I , pause, listen, feel and look. I PAUSE to position my senses, I LISTEN to hear the rumbling or a distant horn... I wait to FEEL the breeze of the approaching train... I LOOK for the headlights of it's near arrival.

I don't know what stage you might be in with your life or your prayer requests, yet I challenge you to PAUSE, LISTEN, FEEL & LOOK... you might be surprised that it is closer than you think.

Don't leave the Waiting Area

It was around this time in 2015 that myself and our team was heading back home from a missions trip. During our already lengthy layover I remember getting a call from the airline informing us that our connecting flight was delayed due to weather conditions.

Apparently this call went out to the other passengers that were scattered throughout the terminal yet by the obvious sighs, moans and teeth-kissing one could easily pinpoint the passengers who had received the same news. They were even some passengers that allowed themselves to get so frustrated that they prematurely ended the call while now muttering profanity as they then got up and left.

I have come to accept: that Delays happen, but a delay does not mean a denial. There will be unexpected things in life that may delay our arrival to; finding that dream spouse, getting that dream job, waiting for that critical answer or getting to where we had already hoped to be... . The human response is certainly "disappointment", just be sure to put a timer on that feeling. (NeverLetThemSeeYouSulk)

We should consider that God "allows" delays not to punish us but oftentimes to keep us safe, to keep us praying and to prepare us for our final stop.

As I replayed the auto-attendants recording in my head, I recall something else that she said. The recording provided some really critical advice. She said that "even though the expected flight time has been delayed please make sure to be at the gate for the originally scheduled time as conditions may change"

WOW.....

A delay does not give us the clearance to now leave the waiting area, to make new arrangements or to now go sightseeing. None of us can predict when an initial delay can get fast-tracked to an earlier departure/arrival.

Here are some Travel tips when you experience unexpected LIFE delays

• A delay is not a denial

• Don't let frustration become your compass

• Never let them see you sulk

• There are some critical instructions to follow during the waiting-period

• Don't leave the waiting area

By the Grace of God I eventually did get to where I wanted (even faster than I thought)...yet it was in His timing and not in mine.

MOTIVATORS

Definition 1: Folks who are encouragers and often share sincere words of affirmation that nudge you towards success

Definition 2: Folks or situations who are agitators; and never have anything good to say, yet in your desire to prove them wrong you push even harder.

LESSON: Sometimes the motivation that you need will be attached to the things that you don't want.

I pray that you will use the toxicity of disappointment, rejection and negativity to fuel your passions and achieve your purpose

I’m Not waving...

At first glance it may really look like they are waving. Yet if we try and pause more often, zoom in and look for their head ... we may be surprised to see how many are in a place where they are drowning.⠀ ⠀ Father, I pray that those who are submerged and feel swallowed up under the chasm of their unknown ocean will

(1) find volume in their voice

(2) find attention from the right ears

(3) find hope in the abyss

(4) find peace in living and not leaving

I A M A B L A C K M A N

I am responsible for my fellow brothers.
I build .... I encourage ....I invest in .....
I don't tear down other BLACK MEN other races or any gender! ....I have felt the pain of being torn down and I have decided a long time ago that I will be deliberate about building others! All too often, we find it easier to criticize each other, instead of building each other up. With all the negativity going around let's do something positive!!

...slow down

There are a lot of people that I love, who are angry
There are a lot of people that I love, who are hurting
There are a lot of people that I love, who are speechless
There are a number of people that I love, who don’t get it
There perhaps are even a few people that I love, who may not care…

A somewhat rhetorical question was once asked of a wise teacher, “How does one achieve eternal success?”
The wise teacher replied by asking a question and it was understood that “Eternal success is promised to those who love God and love their Neighbor”

The man, feeling the need to justify himself to the teacher, then proudly goes on to say (and I’m paraphrasing) “I completely understand the Love God part, in fact I believe I do a pretty good job of loving people, but just so I know, can you clarify Who is my Neighbor?”

The wise teacher then provided an illustration which featured; the horrific act of [robbery], the callous act of [busyness] and the redeeming action of inconveniencing oneself to provide [care]

[Who then is your neighbor?]
A: The ones who are abused, attacked, victimized and often bleeding by the roadside of modern-day inequality. The ones who are just waiting for someone with the compassion to “slow down” enough to care.... and help them breathe the "air of freedom" that every boy, girl, man and woman deserves.

“Blessed are those who slow down, for their hearts and their eternal promises shall be sped up”

[Final thoughts]

1. Be careful that the wisdom we supposedly seek… is not only to justify our personal preferences (or prejudices)
2. We are in a moment in time, where life is allowing us to slow down. We aren’t having to rush TO our jobs… rush TO our churches, rush to our conferences or RUSH to our preferences. Don’t rush past your neighbors
3. Be cautious of the callous act of "Busyness"
4. Slow DOWN and Make Time. Be the neighbor, not simply towards your preferences, but lovingly towards the hurting

#slowdown

#BlackLivesMatter

So this week I decided to pen some thoughts on paper (or in this case: type some words on a computer). Yet even as I stare at the screen I find myself not even knowing what to say; despite my mind being so full. Because my heart is heavy and even though my mouth opens.. no words come out. Alas

#BlackLivesMatter

Why do I keep saying this?

Why do we keep hearing this?

Why do we need to keep saying this?

Because we have to....

I acknowledge and am honored to lead a faith-community that is multi-ethnic, multi-cultural and multi-generational yet I can not ignore that for generations past and present, we as a society have been taught that we (people of color) don't matter. If we are going to change the narrative (outcome & treatment), we must first change perception

Because Jesus said it....

Scripture captures numerous illustrations and messages that Jesus himself expresses about "the least" or the "hurting" or "the most vulnerable". The manner in how we treat the least of those in our society, is how we treat the very Lord himself.

#BlackLivesMatter

Why did the murder of George Floyd cause so much national unrest?

Because we were already at the tipping point

1. we were already experiencing devastating and inequitable human losses in the Black and Brown communities due to COVID-19

2. we were already tense from being cooped up and certainly was drugged up from media-overload

3. we saw it... the world saw it.. and saw it.... and saw it again.. This wasn't an historical news event this was a present day televised murder

4. we are tired and not OK

The Tipping Point

A number of years ago when our kids were younger our family took a trip to Sesame Place. One of the favorite rides for our kids and many other park-goers is Count's Splash Castle. At the center of this splash and slide park is a 1,000-gallon 8-ft. tipping bucket. There are water channels, that were designed as part of the architecture, that gradually fill the bucket in which it eventually tips over showering the gleeful park guests with a tremendous overflow.

Whether it is because of; noticeable financial inequities, lesser access to key services, the documented disparity in how ethnic communities are treated, injustices against our men/women/families or the many other streams of prejudice and inequalities that has flowed in to the bucket of our existence.... it has filled us to this tipping point. Instead of being showered with the refreshing flow of water, the streets are showered with the stinging pellets of anger and pain.

We have to deal with the outpouring of pain, but we also have to deal with the systemic structure of the bucket

#BlackLivesMatter

We love you
We believe in the greatness that is within you
We will get through this!!!
We will together, create and hand down a brighter legacy!!
God is still with us

Cliques are over-rated....

…and under-serving!!

Your [clique] will keep you comfortably-catty captivated in a cliche of self-centered cognitive content

whereas

your Crew will keep you candid
your Cast will keep you consistent
your Collaborators will keep you creating
your Confidantes will keep you confident
your Counselors will keep you clearheaded
your Coaches will keep you courageous &
your Consultants will keep you capable

The Busy Signal

So I'm chatting on the phone strategizing with this dude called Present and suddenly I get a call from a Past buddy of mine. I switched over... and after a slight period of awkward silence we started chatting and reminiscing about "back in the days".

A couple of minutes in, I was like oh gosh, I still got Present on the other line and thought to myself how cool would it be if we all connected together.  So I switched it to a three-way conference call.

Now we were all on the phone for hours and finally the Past buddy of mine said "I gotta run, but let's talk tomorrow"  I said "cool" and he hung up.  Present was still on the line and was telling me how much fun he had laughing about all the goof-ups and mistakes mentioned by Past.  As we were about to say goodbye Present  asked me this question... "whatever happened with your other friend that was supposed to call?.....what's his name again.... was it [Future]?.......  I let out a puff right before i kissed my teeth and responded ...

"That's funny he never even called... that's messed up..."

E.M [EPIPHANY MOMENT]

When you constantly introduce your PRESENT to your PAST your FUTURE will always get a busy signal

Be Present...

There are few things that are more affirming, comforting or silently-powerful than when giving someone or something your undivided attention.

It can certainly be hard to do so, especially in a culture where we celebrate moreso the efficiency of the MultiTasker.

It is possible that in our efforts to become more "efficient-performers" we have found ourselves less "effective-people"

BE PRESENT...

...at meetings

...at dinner

...on the phone

...comforting a loved one

...when your child asks a question

...when you are praying

Wear Your Own

When God gives you VISION

Be careful not to "rock" someone else's glasses.

Our destiny can often become delayed, diluted or destroyed when our vision is altered by adopting the prescription of another persons perspective

It is good to accept advice.

Itis great to share your vision with those you trust.

It is normal to compare and sometimes even copy what others may be doing. 

 However, your vision from God is your vision, and that vision deserves to be complemented with the proper spectacles.

#wearyourown

She Said YES!!

It was around the holidays on December 28th, 2000 in Grand Central Station that while just finishing our meal that I leaned over and proposed to the love of my life with a paper clip.   Yes, a paper clip that I had bent in to the shape of a ring and placed it inside a Zales jewelry box.

As part of my proposal I made a promise to her that if she would accept me (as I was) and to take and wear this token (as it was) that as soon as I was able to I would give her something more AND despite the crude object that accompanied my heartfelt words she Said YES!!!

Moments later after I had taken care of the check  we were holding hands walking out of the restaurant and I noticed something under the Christmas tree that was in the restaurant foyer.  I shared my curiosity with my new fiancee and slowly bent down to grab it, pretending I had no idea what it was.  As I was about to turn, I felt a firm slap on my shoulder as I was told that I was being too nosey.   Yet by the time I turned fully around, already on one knee with restaurant patrons acutely focused on us both, I could sense that her heart just skipped a beat.

In my hand was a cherry wood glass covered octagon box that held a glittering diamond which lit up the ceiling as the lights danced of its edges. "Well I did say that as soon as I was able to I would give you something more. This is that more.... and I would be honored to have you as my wife"

LESSONS FOR US ALL
1. He/she who is faithful in small things God will indeed bless with bigger things.
2. I know that you are worth diamonds... but sometimes you have to first say yes to paperclips

Don't get comfortable with Brokenness

Back in my "hightop" days I used to keep a comb/pick in my back pocket. Throughout the day I was constantly "picking" my hair and inadvertently due to lack of care, i ended up breaking one then later two of the combs teeth.

What is crazy was that instead of marching right away into CVS and shelling out the $1.49 to get a replacement I convinced myself "well it still kinda works" and essentially became comfortable with its deficiency. It took me weeks to wake-up but once I did i couldn't settle for a broken pick any longer.

In our lives, inadvertently we are going to experience failure, brokenness, mediocity and "well... It still kinda works" scenarios.

Don't ever allow yourself to get comfortable... with carrying "brokenness" in your back-pocket

Free your [mind]... and your [purpose] will follow

There have been some moments in my life where I literally felt like a prisoner.  I was constricted, defeated and in the moment had little doubt in my spiritual or emotional freedom.  When I approached those seasons in my life accepting the identity of thefelt-burden, it become overwhelming and hopeless.  Yet, as soon as I started looking out the window of tomorrow and declared my potential and possibility, I still was physically in the situation but my mind had already escaped.

Don't allow the enemy to declare on you a [life sentence] just because you feel that you are STUCK behind bars right now

Free your [mind]... and your [purpose] will follow

Time To EXpand Your Toolkit

The handyman somewhat asleep is startled by the ringing of his business phone. After fumbling with the phone he finally resets his composure and takes down the address. Grabbing his toolkit he rushes out the door, in somewhat of a "superhero" fashion, hops in to his Chrysler hatchback and zooms towards his destination; eagerly anticipating to hear "That is a job well done".

It's a short drive, however with going to an area that he is unfamiliar with, he ends up missing the house at first. Instinct and pride kick in and finally, with much circling he finally does get there.

He leaps out the car, opens the trunk, grabs his trusty toolbox and trumps proudly towards the door. The owner welcomes him in and after the somewhat stiff but cordial greeting, he is escorted to the "problem areas"

There is:

• toilet that is backed-up
• a pipe that is leaking
• a creaky door
• a picture frame that is crooked

After the walk-through the owner of the house asks him, "Are you Able To Fix It?" to which the handyman beamed with pride, patting his toolbox as he responded with a "Absolutely, I have everything I need right here"

As the owner leaves him to start working he opens his toolbox, pulls out his tool and gets to work. After about 45 minutes of pounding, huffing, grunting and cursing under-his-breath, he lets out a final exhale packs up his toolbox and heads to the front door. As he is reaching for the doorknob the owner rushes to catch him so that she can say thanks. Startled by her sudden reappearance, the toolbox drops to the ground and everything inside falls out. He is obviously annoyed at this point and as he reaches down to put the only tool he brought (his trusty screwdriver) back in his toolkit, she innocently asks "So how does everything look? How much do I owe you?"

He lets out a sigh and says "Well what had happened was.." His response is suddenly interrupted by a large drop of water that falls right on on his forehead. Reflex causes them to both look up as the ceiling appears to swell...and in what seems to be a domino effect they both hear two sounds, only seconds apart, of the shattering of glass and the crash of a door .......

HERE IS THE LESSON FOLKS

You can't attack and resolve every situation using the same tool. Part of your maturation requires you to expand your toolkit. To not be so 1-dimensional, just living off your past success and a stagnant learning-process. We must be willing to equip and leverage the different tools, responses and perspectives that are most likely within our grasp

If we resolve PLUNGing policies, WRENCHing situations, RUSTY relationships and UNLEVEL perspectives with only a SCREWDRIVER, we will more than likely therefore SCREW things up.

You and I can be better spouses, leaders and humans if we wouldn't limit ourselves to approaching every situation, argument, misunderstanding and/or disaster with... say a SCREWdriver.. when what may really be needed is just a little oil

Close Some Doors Today

Close some Doors Today...

....Not Simply because you are told to
    or because of that occasional feeling of shame.

Not even because you may desire to...
     because you and I both know that feelings.. they change

But do it because wisdom tells you
   that this door will lead to [No-where]

and [Nowhere] is unfortunately a familiar place.....
    that you have gotten tired.. of having its key.

Day 15 of 29 | ReSet my Integrity-Level

If asked the question "Are you a man/woman of integrity?" could you respond with an immediate honest and confident [YES]?
Or would you find yourself somewhat hesitant as your mind finds itself in a tug-of-war, battling over whether or not that little lie or miniscule indiscretion negates the "mostly" honest persona of who you feel you are.

Remember this.... "Integrity" is often referred to as doing what is "right" even when No one is looking.
I would assert that your integrity-level is defined not when all eyes are on you, but actually when no eyes are on you.

A fundamental problem in our society is a real lack of [integrity]. This behavior is what we are modeling for every future generation that comes after us. We cheat on our taxes, our college financial aid forms, our timesheets, our assignments. Our heroes and leaders, along with being known as "charismatic", can usually find themselves being characterized by other adjectives as we frequently hear of them; doping, bribing, lying, scandaling, sexting, cheating and so many more unintegrious "...ings". We make choices in hidden areas .... feeding our hidden addictions...., all while presenting a public pretense of "integrity"

Today's reading is from Psalm 15 and it opens with the following question
[Lord..... Which one of us may be able to be in your presence?] 

The seemingly rhetorical question is then answered in vs 2 as David writes:
WALK with Integrity
DO what is right
SPEAK with Honesty

Friends, I believe we all need our INTEGRITY-LEVEL to be ReSet. We all need to operate with a greater sense of ethics, a higher moral compass and a desire to be honest and sincere even in our times of solitude. It is not for us to beat ourselves up for not being where we need to be, however let us not unilaterally lower our standards just to make it comfortable for us to be sub-Gods-standard.

[Today’s Prayer]
Dear Father, you are indeed a Holy and Righteous God and I long to be in your presence. Help me overcome any addiction & hidden proclivities that damage my identity and purpose and keeps me away from experiencing your true presence. Remove those often instinctive reflexes; to hide, to pretend, to lie or to cheat. Fill me with a greater portion of virtue, a greater insight of your truth. ReSET my moral compass, raise my sense of ethics and let "honesty" be the first instinct rather than a secondary one. Lastly, surround me with people who lovingly correct me and whom also challenge me.. to be better than I have been, to walk as I should walk... to DO right even amidst the ease to do 'wrong".... and to SPEAK what is truth even when a lie may seem beneficial. Re-SET my; sense, level and pursuit of Integrity, in Jesus Name AMEN

#RESET #Day15 #PURPOSELIFE #PLCRESET